The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity

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Clipping is a handy way to collect important slides you want to go back to later. Jill continued: "Would you describe Laura as pretty? Ellen looked at Jill directly and said decisively, "Of course not. She's fabulous just the way she is. Or do you think she needs a bit of improvement? I mean, we all need to work on certain things, but that has nothing to do with our friendship. I just like her, or love her, just the way she is. Laura had the benefit of having heard her friend defend and compliment her first, but her answers were no less heartfelt.

Laura was clear that there was nothing that Ellen needed to change and nothing that she could change that would make Laura love her more. Jill paused and looked at the audience. Ellen and Laura stood up to leave but Jill stopped them: "No. Don't go just yet; we're not quite done. She thinks you're perfect just the way you are.

The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers

Now I want you to describe yourself to me. Can you say those same things about yourself? Ellen stared at Jill and stumbled for words. They both appeared uncomfortable and Ellen became flushed. Jill turned to Laura and asked her the same questions. You've heard the same thing.

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You heard your friend Ellen describe you as lovely, fun to be with, and likable. As a matter of fact she even told everyone here that she cherishes you so much as a person that she loves you like family. Are you worth her feeling that way? I think the only reason she held her tongue was that she knew she wasn't supposed to say it. Every woman in the audience leaned forward, seemingly groping for words to give to the woman onstage.

Why did you decide to shift your focus to mothers?

A: I decided to write on mothers for two reasons. First, after I saw the overwhelmingly positive response to the encouragement I gave fathers in Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, I realized that there is a huge paucity of encouragement out there not just for fathers, but for mothers too. Second, over the past 25 years, I have witnessed a shift in the level of stress that all mothers feel. I believe and research supports this that mothers are more stressed today than they have ever been. I wanted to drill down and find the sources of the stress and offer solutions to mothers in a positive, encouraging way.

I also learned one extremely important lesson very early on as a pediatrician: if I really want to keep kids emotionally and physically happy, the best thing I can do for them is help their mothers. Once she's happy, I didn't need to worry about the kids. Q: This new book discusses ten essential habits that mothers should abide by to reclaim the passion, purpose and sanity in their lives. How did you come up with these specific habits—were any of them based on your own personal experience as a mother? A: I comprised a list of "habits" for mothers after I identified the key stressors in mothers' lives.

For instance, I found that money, feeling overwhelmed with complicated schedules, and fear that they weren't parenting well enough were some key stressors. These habits counter those key stresses. Since there isn't much research available on mothers' attitudes toward fear or competitiveness, for instance, much of my advice comes from years of listening intently to the mothers I see in my practice. Q: Why is solitude so important to mothers these days A: Solitude is extremely important for several reasons.

First, as mothers, we are continually bombarded with another person's needs and demands. In order to stay sane, we need a reprieve from these. Also, we need solitude so that we can spend reflective time on deeper, important issues such as: what do we want from our lives, what is our purpose and what do we really want for our kids?

Finally, solitude teaches us to learn to enjoy our own company.

This cannot be understated because every mother needs to learn to like herself and like being with herself. Only solitude affords this. Q: Whether you are a single mother or in a happy relationship, you assert that it is so important for women to form friendships with other women. A: Mothers need other women friends because one of our primary needs, is to be in deep relationship with a few close people. Our kids cannot serve this need and our husbands can only do so to a certain extent.

We mothers need women friends because women think like we do, they stick with us when others leave us and they love us in ways that many husbands, family members or children can't. Q: There are a lot of advice books for parents on the market. What makes your approach to parenting and motherhood different? A: My approach to parenting has always been to start where you are and move forward.

Many parents ruminate on their mistakes and this prohibits them from becoming better parents and from enjoying parenting more.

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Mothers, in particular, beat themselves up so much for past mistakes and I always encourage mothers to look forward, not back. This book, is the only book I have ever seen that is written for mothers, not to be better parents, but to learn how to enjoy parenting once again. And I know that any mother can enjoy her role as a mother more! See All Customer Reviews.

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Great suggestions for all moms on how to renew their energy and enthusiasm. Anonymous More than 1 year ago. Related Searches.